My Son, The Replacement Official
As Halloween approaches so doth cometh the small children and cute costumes. I thought about being a horrible parent and dressing up my 3 month old son to guilt people into giving him candy that he can’t yet eat. But I’m not ready to venture into “THAT parent” territory. However, I think he would have made a great replacement official. From what I could tell, he was beginning to get some of the calls down but you be the judge:
“Touchdown!”
“Surely I won’t miss anything if I just take a little snooze…right….here……between……….plays……………….”
“We’ve got offsides, on the defense. That’s a 5-yard penalty, but we’re going to move the ball back 17 yards because that was a pretty blatant hold and also…I’m not so good with the maths.”
“Ummmmm….after further review, it has been determined that the infield fly rule was in effect, the shooter will receive 2 free throws barring a flop in extra time and the ball will be placed on the 53 yard line. By rule, the goaltender must disallow the homerun and the opening ceremonies will need to be refunded. Will the clock operator please reset the game clock to one hour and thirty-two minutes? Thank you…. Why is everyone still staring at me? Is there something on my face?”