Job Loss or Freedom Found?

The rare Friday post brings some interesting news. Today I was laid off. To say I lost my job would be inaccurate, as that might imply that I want to find that exact, same job again.

Truth be told, I hated what I did. Those close to me didn’t even need to ask. They could see it on my face. It’s pretty telling when one of the comments my wife makes after I told her what happened was, “I’m smiling ear-to-ear!” 

Coming home to my family and trying to mask the lack of enjoyment at my job everyday was taxing. And not just for me but for my family too. My acting job was about as good as Justin Bieber’s dance moves: Uninspired, severely lacking and in need of help. I would have deserved it if my wife would have told me once a week to stop acting like a dick. But I couldn’t separate my work life from my home life and, unfortunately, the negative feelings from work overruled the positive feelings from home. So I would come home and be worn out and tense and sometimes unfriendly. But my wife did a great job in injecting some hope every once in a while, but it never seemed to last. And I would be back to my un-fun, Eeyore-like self.  It still wasn’t fair to her or the new little one. I hated the thought that my son might be growing up in a house with a negative parent. I saw it happening but it seemed my attempts at making a change weren’t effective.

I had been looking around for something different for awhile because I could see where the company was headed given some of the decisions made and not made within the company. But I hadn’t found that “perfect job” that would free me from the creativity-crushing, boring, negative mass of constant frustration that was my job. Now I have no choice and I’m not upset about it at all. The only thing that tweaks me just a little bit is driven by my overly-large, often dangerous, male ego that hates that I was had. They got me before I got them. I had been planning on putting in my 2-weeks-notice for over a year just as soon as I found that job that had everything I was looking for, which probably doesn’t exist. I even went as far as typing it out. So there it sat on my hard drive just waiting for me to push “Print.” There it still sits. Oh well.

But regardless of how it happened, I’ve got a fresh start. From today forward, I can go down one of two roads. The first is that long, unhealthy road filled with self-pity, doubt, uncertainty and maybe even depression. But, ironically, I feel like I was just given a free ride off of that road. That’s the road I was already going down while I still had a job I didn’t want. (As a brief aside, I can hear some say, “Well, you should have just felt fortunate to even have a job in this economy!” To that, I say, “Way to set your bar at the lowest notch.” I hate mediocrity and given that I’m blessed enough to have the desire and ability to make a living, I’m driven to do more than just “get by.”) The second road is unknown but full of possibilities and potential.

I choose the latter. I see this as a blessing. A freeing of sorts to finally get to a better spot. Not just for me but my family too.  I feel oddly at ease with being blindsided on a Friday morning. I see God in this and will continue to trust in Him and find comfort in knowing that the most powerful being ever is working behind the scenes on my behalf.

On one hand, I’m glad my son isn’t old enough for me to have to explain why Daddy is staying home on weekdays but on the other hand, it sure would be a great teachable moment.

Now, the immediate question is this: Is it wrong to go out and celebrate a job loss?